Power of Music

Music occupies very important place in the Indian culture and tradition. It is not only an instrument of entertainment, but is said to have the power to heal an individual physically emotionally and spiritually. In today’s highly competitive and stressful environment and busy lifestyle, music can be used an instrument to relax and relieve the mind of stressful situation. Music is pervading all over the nature. It is present in the whispering sound of gentle breeze, it is present in chirping of little birds, it is present in the rising waves of seas, it is present in the falling waters of fountains. One has to be silent and experience the music which is embedded in nature all over. Music has no boundaries. It transcends all barriers like language, religion, caste,creed, gender,age and status. There is no science other than music to mould, strengthen and infuse harmony to the character of the entire mankind. One has to hear good music to elevate the soul. Because Music is Divine! Because Music is Power, packed in sound waves. Music has the power to heal patients suffering from cancer. Devotional music has the power to elevate soul and bring it closer to supreme lord.

Music is an extremely versatile medium of communication. It is capable of exploring all the features that are used in verbal communication. Moreover, it does so in an explicit and structured way, which makes it an interesting and useful window into human communication, in general. Good music touches our emotions. It touches the very core of our soul.. It may not be possible to explain or describe this in human language. It can only be felt. It is one of those mystic experiences, which baffle analytical explanation.

Bidai

My dear Shilpa,

Finally, your wedding has come to an end. Now, you are on honeymoon trip. I wish you a very happy journey.

Your wedding has been a grand success. All our guests who came from outstation were extremely satisfied with the arrangements made. The food, the decoration, the lighting, were of top quality. I have not yet seen the video film which is still under processing but I have seen CD of still photography which is excellent. By the time you come back, DVD of video shoot will be ready for you.

You have gone but your memory will always remain with me. I can still recollect your childhood frame by frame. As a father, Bidai has been the most painful experience for me. I felt as if my life is being snatched away from my body. Even before your marriage, whenever I thought of your Bidai, tears swelled in my eyes. You were crying during Bidai, your sister, your mom were crying when they embraced you but I somehow managed to hold back my tears although the pain of seperation was unbearable.

You have got soulmate who is not only handsome in looks but very good at heart.
May God bless you both for a very happy married life.

I cannot share my feelings in person with you so I am writing this open letter. I hope, you will read it when you go back to UK.

Motivation

We use only 10% of our potential while 90% of our potential is dormant in sub conscious state of mind. This is because we are not motivated enough to use all of our potential. The next logical question that comes to our mind is what is motivation. Motivation is the driving force that encourages action. To motivate means to encourage and inspire. Motivation is powerful. It can persuade, convince and encourage you to act. The word motivation consists of two parts Motiv(e) a (c)tion which means motive for action. Motivation comes from a desire to succeed. Without success there is little pride in life, no enjoyment or excitement at work and at home. The greatest enemy of motivation is complacency. Complacency leads to lack of effort, and when people are complacent, they don’t utilize their potential to full with the result they don’t succeed. Motivation can be classified into two types external and internal.

External motivation comes from outside. Examples of external motivations are money, societal approval, fame or fear of getting fired at work. The disadvantage of external motivation is that it is temporary meaning the motivation is there as long as the factor that causes motivation is there. If the factor is fear, you work as long as you are watched or supervised. If it is money, you work as long as you get incentive which is strong enough to motivate you. Just think of a donkey with a carrot dangling in front and pulling a cart behind. Incentive motivation will work if the donkey is hungry enough, the carrot is sweet enough and the load is light enough. From time to time, you have to let the donkey take a bite of the carrot otherwise it is going to get discouraged. After the donkey takes a bite, its stomach is full and you need to wait for the donkey to get hungry again before it will pull cart. The same attitude can be seen in business environment also. The moment sales people meet their targets, they stop working. This is because their motivation is limited to meeting the sales target

Internal Motivation comes from within such as sense of achievement, responsibility and belief. It is feeling of accomplishment rather than just achieving a goal. The two most important internal motivators are recognition and responsibility. Recognition means being appreciated, being treated with respect and dignity and feeling a sense of belonging. Responsibility gives a person a feeling of belonging and ownership. Recognition is external because it originates from outside but it’s manifestations are internal. Responsibility is internal because it originates from within.

Internal motivation is ever lasting because it is self driven as opposed to external motivation which is temporary, short lived. It has been seen that those who have clear cut defined goals are self motivated because the goals give them sense of direction and the right kind of motivation to act. I have already written in my earlier blog as to how to define SMART goals.

Productivity of the company is directly related to the motivation level of human Resource. The higher the motivation level, the more the productivity. That is the reason, most of organizations give top priority to human Resource development program. Some organizations make the mistake of upgrading the technology, systems and processes without giving any importance to motivating human resource with the result, they fail to implement the new systems due to employees resistance to change.

Mama Test

The seven deadly sins according to Mahatma Gandhi are:

1>Wealth without work
2>Pleasure without Conscience
3>Knowledge without Character
4>Commerce without Morality
5>Science without Humanity
6>Religion without Sacrifice
7>Politics without Principle

Each of these perversions reflects a lack of values.

How do you put your value system to the test. I believe there are two tests which are effective. Of these, the ultimate test is the "Mama Test".

Whatever you do at home or at work, alone or with someone- if values are in question-Ask yourself, "If my Mama were to see me doing this, would she be proud of me or would she hang her head in shame. Another test which is similar to this is called "Baba Test". In this test ask yourself "If my children were to see me doing what I am doing, would I want them to see it or would I be embarrassed.

I wonder how long these tests will continue to be effective

Cricket Ka Bukhar

Three reasons why I celebrate the defeat of Indian Cricket Team in big matches.Firstly, after the defeat, the coverage of Cricket news in electronic and print media is reduced considerably thereby giving space for other news to appear. Secondly, the popularity of highly overrated cricket players is waned. Thirdly, the craze of cricket in India gets diminished with each defeat. The so called Cricket ka Bukhar has reached a dangerous level. Only successive defeats can diminish the craze from the minds of Indian public. Other sports in India are suffering on account of this madness. Even Gold medalists of the like of Abhinav Bindra are not facilitated as much as our so called cricket Gods and demi Gods. Perhaps there is no other country in the world which is as much Cricket crazy as India is. Even in the popularity chart, the most popular sport in the world is football and not cricket. India’s own hockey which was ruling the world in the past several years, and which is considered it’s national sport has been relegated to the background thanks to Cricket. Hockey is slowing dying here and so are other sports. Sports ministry is doing nothing to promote other sports including gymnastics. India’s dismal record in Olympics is the proof of sheer madness towards one single sport. Forget other sports. Even in Cricket, Indian team’s record is not good considering number of wins and losses against each country. You can check back the statistics. Players like Tendulkar and Gavaskar have scored maximum number of centuries in ODI and Test Cricket. Yet, when it comes to winning the match, their records are not very impressive. What ultimately counts is whether the team wins or loses the match not how many centuries X,Y or Z in the team has scored. Another point to be noted is whenever there is a defeat, it is always the bowlers who are the prime targets. It looks like as if cricket is all about batting only. All our cricket icons are batsmen. Pakistan wins the match on the strength of bowling. New Zealand wins the match on the strength of fielding. Fielding and Bowling are the other departments which also contribute a lot in winning a match. Cricket matches are not won by analyzing treadbare in which position Gautam Gambhir or Sahwag should come to bat but by rigorous match practice and hard work by the players on the ground backed by sound strategy. Our batsmen are more interested in learning Bollywood dances, participating in reality shows rather than sweating on the field.

Space exploration

India’s Chandrayan-1 has achieved a major milestone in space science, discovery of water on the moon. There are no lakes or oceans on the moon. Only water molecules are found in moon's soil.It is a matter of great pride for all Indians. Presence of water on a celestial body other than earth is a clear indication that life in some form may exist in other planets in the universe. Water can remain in liquid form between 1 degree and 100 degree farenheight. If the planet is too hot, water will be vapourised, if it is too cold, water will be frozen into ice. U.S has launched a satellite in space to explore the planets in universe which supports life. There are billions of stars in our galaxy. Like our milky way, there are billions of galaxies in the universe. Even if it is proven that life supporting planets exist in universe, the distance between our earth and these planets would be so great that it will be humanly impossible to get in touch with civilisations living in such planets. Science has made tremendous progress in the last 50 years. Today, we have built very powerful telescopes which can detect even small planets circling a distant star. Yet, we are still far behind when it comes to inter planetary space travel. Inter planetary space travel is possible only if we have techinque through which we can travel at the speed of light. There is no physical object which can travel at the speed of light. Vastness of space can be gauged from the fact that some of the stars are thousands of light years away from earth which means even radio signals will take thousands of years to reach a distant star. Nearest star is one light year away from earth.Hypothetically, if human being could transform himself into energy and then travel space in energy form at the speed of light, it is possible to reach a life supporting planet circling the nearest star in one year. Will it be possible in future, it is difficult to say.

Wake up

We, Indians are basically self centered. We are most concerned with our own well being. Family comes next in our priority list. The concept of family means wife and children only. Parents do not come in family. Country comes at the end. Our love towards the country can be seen only on the cricket field . You can see Tricolor waved by Indian spectators all over the stadium whenever Sachin scores a boundary or a six. We are more concerned with how many runs Sachin Tendular has scored rather than how many Jawans have lost their lives fighting terrorists. What do our brave soldiers get in exchange of supreme sacrifice they make for the country. Their families are made to suffer for the rest of their lives. There is no monetary compensation at all from the government. Coming to civic sense, we have developed extreme apathy towards the filth and dirt littered all over. There is no sense of hygiene anywhere. People can be seen squatting, urinating by the roadside. We have irresponsible government installed at the state and central level who is only interested in collecting taxes from honest taxpayers. The hard earned money of tax payers are being used in maintaining lavish lifestyles of corrupt beaurocrats and politicians. Crores of rupees are spent in their airtravel overseas every year. They are used to travel in business class, stay in 5 star hotels, use the most expensive cars for their personal use,live in palatial Bunglows. They are provided with Z class security by the ministry which again is at the expense of taxpayers money. There is no accountability whatsoever. Indian roads are dirty, full of potholes, probably the worst in the whole world. There is no footpaths for pedestrians. Whereever there are, they are occupied by roadside vendors. They are allowed to use footpaths because they pay Haftas to traffic police. Padestrians have no option but to walk on the main road risking their lives. Half of the traffic signals are not working. The number of deaths in road accidents in India are among the highest in the world. But who cares. Our civic administration is doing nothing. The corrupt officers of Bombay Municipal Corporation are only interested in filling their own pockets. Why can’t we display our patriotism in eradicating injustice, corruption rather than displaying it on cricket field. Have we become so insensitive as not to think beyond our own personal gains and pleasures. Bollywood is another nuisance which is ruining our culture and tradition. Bollywood actors have become the icons of young school children thanks to electronic and print media who have made them larger than life. Our taste has downgraded to such an extent that we are not in a position to differentiate between a good film and a bad film. So called reality shows on T.V. are exploiting young minds to increase their TRP. News channels are reduced to spreading rumours and propaganda. The contents of news channels are third grade. News such as lessons from Priyanka Chopra on “How to patao a ladki” with live demonstration is not only silly, stupid but also cheap,vulgar and demeaning. We are reconciled to shabby treatments meted out to us in hospitals, Banks, Airlines, Railways, Hotels etc. We are used to racial discrimination not only overseas but even in our own country. There is no protest whatsoever. I tell you public protest works. Look at what happened post 26/11.Common people went to the streets and protested for lack of security with the result two high profile incompetent ministers of Maharashtra were forced to give resignation. Our tolerance level is quite high which needs to be lowered for our own good. If we tolerate exploitation, injustice meted out to us, we are as much guilty as the perpetrators of crime. If a girl is raped in public, and if we stand and watch helplessly, we are as much guilty as the rapist. Our mindset has to change. We will have to come out of our comfort zone and fight for justice. British rulers did not give us freedom on a platter. We had to struggle and fight for it. Young boys and girls are looking up for role models. Unfortunately, there is no role model today whom they can emulate. People have forgotten Mahatma Gandhi and other freedom fighters who were great leaders in their times. Teachers and Parents need to inculcate right values in young minds, else when they grow up, they will develop the same mindset as what I have written in the beginning of this post.

Goal Setting

Most of us who are busy from morning to evening will be shocked to learn that 80% of what we do, does not contribute to even 20% of what we want to achieve. We are busy doing nothing. We, as human beings have to perform multiple roles. These roles are not confined to workplace only but extends to our personal life and social life also. If we fail to perform any of these roles, we will become unhappy. If our personal relationship with our spouse is not good, it will get reflected in our performance at workplace which will effect our career ultimately. Conversely, if we spend too much time in our workplace, we will be left with little time to spare for our spouse at home with the result, our relationship with spouse will get effected. This is a vicious circle. We have only 24 hours at our disposal. The point is how smartly we invest this time in doing multiple activities. Broadly, speaking, if you draw a full circle and call it as the wheel of life and divide the circle into various segments, each segment representing a particular sphere of activity say Career, Personal life, spiritual life, social life, Healthcare etc with you at the centre, you will note that if you try to expand any one segment across the wheel, it will cause shrinkage to another segment automatically . What is required therefore is not to lean too much on one particular sphere of activity at the cost of another but to do balancing act and give equal importance to each sphere of activities . Goal setting is the first thing that should be done because that will give you the sense of direction. If you do any activity without setting the goal, you will soon lose the interest and will never be able to complete it. You must set at least 5 goals in each sphere of activities. The goals set must be SMART goals meaning they should be S(pecific), M(easurable), A(ttainable), R(ealistic),T(imebound). After the goals are set, you define major milestones with list of activities under each milestone. Milestones will help you in knowing whether you are right on track or you have gone off the track and hence will give you an opportunity to correct yourself before it is too late. Having done that, you list down the obstacles that will come in your way hindering the progress of work and how you are going to overcome the obstacles. Now, you are ready with complete roadmap on how you are going to achieve the goals. On a day to day basis, you will be doing many other activities which do not contribute anything to achieving short term or long term goals as defined by you. These activities are not priority areas for you and can be delegated to somebody down the line. Prepare ‘to do list’ on a daily basis which is in line with goals set and check at the end of the day how many of them you have completed. If any of the activity is left unfinished, try to complete it on the following day. This habit of yours will focus on doing core activities which will ultimately lead to achieving the goals set. Working smartly rather than working hard will give you cutting edge over others. You don’t need to be miles ahead of others in competitive environment. The winning horse in a jackpot is only a fraction of a second ahead of the horse who comes second.

Solution of last mathematical puzzle

The correct answer of the previous puzzle is

"Write box no on top of each box. Since there are 10 boxes, write box no 1 for the 1st box,box no 2 for the second box, box no 3 for the third box and so on. Now, take out one ball from the 1st box, 2 balls from the second box, 3 balls from the 3rd box and so on. Put all balls which will be 55 in numbers on one side of the weighing scale and put weights on the other side to balance the weight on both sides. Count the total weight. Deduct the total weight from 550. The difference is the box number. If the difference is 6, the balls weighing 9 grams is in box no 6. If the difference is 8, the balls weighing 9 grams are in box no 8."

Puzzle

Those of you who are good in solving mathematical puzzle, here is an interesting one.

"There are 10 boxes. Each box contains 10 balls of identical shape , size and color.
Balls in 9 out of 10 boxes weighs 10 grams each. Only one of the boxes contains balls weighing 9 grams each instead of 10 grams. You have to identify the box which contains balls weighing 9 grams only. You are provided with a weighing balance with weights of 10 grams and 1 grams only. The only condition is that once you put number of balls on the weighing balance, you cannot change it. You are however, allowed to change the weights"

Women's Liberation

I am writing on this subject from Indian perspective.Indian society has undergone drastic change since independence. I recall, girls in the family in our time were not allowed to study beyond high school. In my family, none of my elder sisters went to college. Only two of my younger sisters who are 8-10 years younger than me went to college and obtained college degree. During this time, the elders in the family started allowing girls to go out of the house and study further. When my generation took over sometime in 1980-82, there was paradigm shift in attitude. The realisation dawned on us how important it is for girls to get education. Me and my brothers have given the best of education to our girls . It gives me lot of satisfaction to say that today, both my daughters are well qualified and financially independent. The girls of this generation in our family are Chartered Accountants, Engineers, Doctors, MBA. They are much more confident than their predecessors. I am sure the same scenario exists in all Middle Class Indian families. This is the positive development. But still, considering the population of India, the percentage of women who are educated is miniscule.

Females in India even today are by and large considered as liabilities. The chief reason being the hefty dowry one has to give to marry them. There are families who have to even sell their homes to meet the ever growing demands of the bridegroom and his families. If the girl’s parents fail to meet the demands, the girl is harassed, tortured, burnt to death. There is very stringent law in our country to deal with this crime but still so many dowry deaths are taking place every day. I feel more than the Law, it is the social awareness which can bring about transformation in the attitude of people. As along as women are financially dependent, there will be exploitation in the name of dowry. It is the education alone which can give financial independence to women. Women have proved themselves to be as competent as men in all professional fields. In some areas, they are even better than them.

But inspite of all this, there is sexual discrimination in Indian families as regards their upbringing, education, sports and other activities. They are not given the same rights as men when it comes to division of property in the family. They find it difficult to persue professional career after marriage due to family pressure. It is always the wife who is expected to sacrifice job when it comes to choosing between career and home. Working women find it very difficult to manage both family responsibilities and professional commitments.They are under extreme pressure to do balancing act and carry on with dual responsibilities. Husbands expect their working wives to come home in time and keep everything ready before they return from office. If the child is sick , it is always the wife who is expected to take leave from office and look after the child. Wife does not have the same freedom as husband in taking decisions in family matters. Male domination in Indian family is still prevalent.

We, as parents are largely responsible for this behavioural pattern. We are reluctant to break through age old tradition of giving preferential treatment to male child over female child right from the stage of conceiving to their upbringing in the family.

As long as this tradition will continue, our attitude towards women will not change. They will not be treated on par with male counterparts and there will be discrimination.

Healing through Transcendent Experience

Did you ever have transcendent experience that has healed you completely. Transcendent moments can be moments of ecstatic joy or moments of incandescent peace.
There are stories of ordinary people who have gone through these moments under extreme circumstances. These stories will move you completely. Let me share with you one such story.

"A terminally ill patient wakes up early one morning and sees the sun rising outside the window.Motionless, struck by the mesmerising beauty , the man stares at the sky.
It is'nt sky anymore....it's an ocean of swirling colors, the fiery red flooding into magneta, the glorious orange mixing with deep violet and pink..... all of it moving,changing,rearranging itself to it's own design.... the entire sky... an artiste's palette, exuberant ,overwhelming...... The sick man touches his heart holding to the window panes with his other hand. Such beauty, such magnificence,such peace.... takes away the loneliness, the dispair.... and emerges in it's place possibility,hope.

And the man makes a choice. I am going to live. I will beat this illness. I will get well.I will move on. And he does.

A transcendent experience brought about by the ethereal beauty of nature, giving birth to a will to live followed by total healing.

The neighbour next door, watching the same sunrise at the same time, notices the beauty of sky, pauses by the window for a moment and smiles, then looks at his watch and hurries to the kitchen to begin his day.

It does not mean the neighbour is the insensitive person. It does not mean he missed a grand opportunity to change the life for the better. For him, it was simply a usual morning with an unusually beautiful sunrise. That's all. Meanwhile the sick man had Transcendent experience that changed him at the very core giving him the will to triumph over his cancer.

Self Belief

Stress management is much talked about subject in corporate world now a days. They hire specialists to give them tips on how to manage stress under work pressure in workplace. Stress is not caused by work pressure as is generally believed but by the anxiety of failure to meet deadlines. Only those who have low self belief, self image will develop anxiety and hence stress. If stress level rises beyond a certain point, it can lead to depression and in the extreme case suicide. Stress management is required to reduce stress level.. Since stress is related to mind, yoga and meditation helps a great deal in reducing stress level. Stress management is post mortem. It does not prevent you from developing stress. This is where self belief comes in. If you increase self belief, you would not develop stress even under work pressure. Therefore, focus on developing self belief and not stress management. Prevention is better than cure. It is better to develop immune system of the body to fight infection rather than take medicines to fight it after it has infected the body. Self belief is believing in your own strengths to cope up with challenges, deadlines etc. People whose self belief is very strong are too excited to work under pressure. Their performance is at peak when made to work under pressure. They take this as an opportunity to showcase their talent. Hard work does not cause stress. Stress has nothing to do with physical effort. It has to do with fear, anxiety, inability to perform. Those who are emotionally weak are likely to develop stress under pressure. People with low self belief tend to think negative. They lack confidence in their own strengths,capabilities. They think of failure rather than success in whatever they do. They avoid taking any challenge for fear of failure. You can develop self belief by acknowledging the fact that you are not alone in this world to possess weaknesses. Every human being has got certain strengths and weaknesses. Write down all your weakness and strengths on a piece of paper. Tell yourself, I am going to leverage on my strengths and I will work towards improving my weaknesses. Next, you write down your worst fear.” It could be for example “If I fail to perform, I will lose my job”. Then write down, if that happens, how do I convert this threat into opportunity. You may write for instance “ If I lose the Job, I am going to join a course to develop my inter personal skill which I am not good at at present”. This is your action plan in the worst scenario. Having done that, you will find that you are now ready to take up the challenge and face the consequences if you fail.. If you perform with positive frame of mind, you will achieve success. You will discover, all your fears are unfounded, imaginary, baseless. In fact, you will soon realize 95% of all your fears are imaginary. They are in your mind. They are not real. They are your own creation. What is required is believing in your own abilities, your own potential. If you have seen cricket match, you might have noticed that sometimes, the team which is technically superior to the other team loses the match. It loses the match because it has lost it in mind even before the match started or before the match finished. If you are mentally prepared for defeat, you lose the match.. You stop making effort. Psychologists estimate that we use less than one third of our actual potential. By increasing our potential even marginally through self belief and positive thinking, we can make significant improvement in our performance. If you have negative attitude, temporary setbacks, failures will reinforce your negative thoughts which will lead to more and more failures. Contrary to this, if you have positive attitude, you will learn few lessons from the failures and will make yourself even stronger to face new challenges in life and achieve success. The best way to increase self belief is to gain practical experience by doing things rather than imagining failures and not making any attempt.

In search of soulmate

I have seen people spending years in search of a soul mate trying to see if the person they meet fits into their imagined picture of a perfect man or woman. They check them against their check list. They look for the right package and it does not work that way. It is the package you are after and that is what you will keep finding. And you will be hurt and disappointed again and again and eventually you join thousands of other men and women who like you have given up hope. How does it matter how tall or short a person is, how thin, how many degrees he has, how much money he earns. Why should you be concerned with what it looks like from outside. How many examples of picture perfect marriages that turned out to be nightmares do you need. Every week another divorce of a famous couple. You wonder how did it happen. They looked so perfect match.

Stop looking for the right packagings. They look beautiful from outside but what matters is the gift inside it. Wrappings are just used to decorate the gift. They are temporary, meant to be discarded. It is the gift, the content, the gem inside that counts ultimately.

What matters is your feelings. How do you feel when you are together,when it is the just the two of you , alone with no one looking. What happens when you simply take his hands into yours, when you look straight into his eyes.

Let it go. Let go of the need for the beautiful pictures. Our reality, so powerfully reflective gives us messages again and again. Is'nt it time we listen. Is'nt it time to live our own life and not the one others expect us to live. If you really want a soul mate, don't miss the opportunity when he comes along.

More thoughts on True Relationship

In a true relationship, you don’t necessarily have to agree with your partner 100%. God has made us unique in our thinking, likes and dislikes. If all of us start thinking in the same pattern, there will be no challenge, no fun,no excitement. The life will become monotonous,very boring. If two people live together, there will be times when they will disagree and fight. That’s normal. That’s natural. If that does not happen, then one or the other is selling out. It is better to fight it out and find a resolution rather than stop talking to each other. If things are really bad, take a short break, not hours of punishing silence.Dropping the subject in resignation is not going to work. In true relationship, relationship comes first, not the job, not the career,not me,not you. It does not matter who will wash the dishes. If one hates it, the other will do it. No one has died from washing the dishes as yet. It is better to wash the dish than to let the relationship sour over petty things. Happy couples are not polite with each other. They fight, they argue, they disagree. They are not always hugging, kissing and hanging on each other’s words. If your relationship is real, you will still make mistakes, you will still say things which will upset your partner. You may forget to pay attention, you may yell at each other or be silent together and yet your connection will always be there, alive,palpable,unique and those around you will feel your warmth and your closeness whether it is overt or very private. Politeness in relationship sets in when both the partners have given up. Politeness is the beginning of the end of relationship. At this stage, you avoid discussing issues which have caused strain in relationship. Being polite means not to say things which may hurt the feelings of partner and pretending to be happy, not be true to yourself. Politeness is the child of resentment. Resentment is the poison that kills relationship. Resentment is the mortar that holds together the walls of cold hostile silence between two people. Resentment is the anger laced with hurt. Unexpressed,unattended anger mixed with layers and layers of unanswered hurt. If resentment is allowed to grow inside, it will sink deep down, will begin it’s destructive work. It will color your thoughts and feelings, shape your responses, effect everything you do. You begin to see how misunderstood you are, how unappreciated and how badly you want to punish this most important person in life who once upon a time used to be everything to you. He must be hurt, attacked, destroyed because you are right. You hear yourself say things that should never be said, awful things,hurtful things you must never say even in anger.

Yes, true relationship is difficult and difficult it will remain if you choose not to deal with problems when they are occurring but instead comply,push the hurt deep down and tell yourself it is not there. You postpone the resolution of conflict. You even deny it’s existence. If problems are left unattended, if feelings are not shared, if misundersndings are not cleared, resentment will take it’s place. Like sediments that won’t dissolve, your resentment will sink to the bottom of that precious vessel that is your relationship and it will calcify, creating layer upon layer of hardened stuff that will create a wall separating you more and more from your partner

True Relationship

In true relationship, there is no give and take. In fact, give and take does not exist. Only give and give exists.You give 100% and you take 0%. and your loved one gives 100% and takes nothing in return.The thought "What am I getting in return" does not come at all. You never look at your Balance sheet to check what you have given and what you have received. In true relationship, there is no sacrifice in giving, but there is only joy in giving. you are more concerned with the happiness of the one you love than with your own. So, in a situation like this, no one feels neglected,no one is ignored or sidetracked. The other very important thing in true relationship is absolute trust and faith in your partner. There is no place for any suspicion or doubt.If there is difference of opinion on any matter, you talk it over and sort it out rather than nursing the grudge within. You have to give a patient hearing to what your partner has to say and put across your point of view as well and arrive at a solution that works best for both of you.

Sach Ka Samna

There was lot of hue and cry over a reality show called “Sach Ka saamna”. Many viewers complained that the show is vulgar. Some even demanded that the show be banned as the type of questions asked to the contestants were too personal, embarrassing, unsuitable for general public. I don’t want to enter into any controversy or debate over this issue. But the point I am trying to make is that we have by and large built up our relationship based on heaps of lies. The truth is buried deep inside it. We are scared of uncovering the truth as it will expose our true self,. which will ultimately destroy our relationships. Our friends, colleagues,relatives all will turn into foes. Wife will divorce husband and the vice versa. Are we prepared to speak the truth and face the consequences. Not only will it destroy our relationship, it will take away our material possessions also which we have accumulated over a period of time through unfair means. Our life will become miserable.We will be alienated from the rest of the world. But why is it that every textbook, every religion, every tongue says “Speak the truth”. Truth is God. Mahatma Gandhi always spoke the truth. He had no material possessions, no bank balance but spiritually, he was a great leader. His relationship with people was based on truth. He was not hypocrite, doublespeak, opportunistic, manipulator as most of our leaders are today. Jesus Christ was humiliated, tortured, crucified on the cross because he spoke the truth.. Speaking truth is as painful as walking on razor sharp material. It needs lot of courage, grit,determination to speak truth which leads us to eternity. Lies give lot of material comfort and luxury but ultimately, leads us to distruction and death. Choice is ours what we want.

Psychological Test

God has made every person unique in terms of physical appearance and personality traits. Compatibility between two individuals is essential for harmonious relationship whether between husband and wife, Boss and subordinate, Business partners, Friends, Peers etc. It is very important to understand the personalities of the people with whom you have to deal with so that you mould our own behaviour to suit their personalities. If you fail to do so, you will end up having lot of misunderstanding with them whether in career, social circle or at home resulting in breakups in relationship. Successful people are very good at understanding the human psychology. Human relationship is so complex that even if you stay with a person for years, you may not understand him or her completely. It is for this reason that I have come up with a psychological test which if conducted, it will be possible to know the nature of the person with reasonable degree of accuracy. The test is in the form of a story. It runs like this.

This story involves 4 people. Let me name them as “A”,”B”,”C,”D”. They are staying in houses which are built in 4 corners of an open field meant for playing football . “A”,”B” and “C” are boys and “D” is a girl. “A” is in love with “D”. He goes to meet her everyday. But the irony is that the only way to go to “D”’s house is through either “B” ‘s house or “C”’s house. He chooses to go through “B”’s house. B had no objection initially. But when he came to know that he goes to meet D, he objected to his going through his house. A then changed the route. He started going through C’s house. C does not mind it although he knows that A goes to meet D. This goes on for some time. Then D proposes A to marry her. A asks D to wait for some more time as he does not have enough money to support her. D does not wait for A and instead proposes C to marry her. C agrees to marry her although C knew D’s relationship with A.

The test is Rank the characters of 4 people in the story. Please note there is no right or wrong answer in this. This test will work only if you do not manipulate your answer.

Psychological Test

God has made every person unique in terms of physical appearance and personality traits. Compatibility between two individuals is essential for harmonious relationship whether between husband and wife, Boss and subordinate, Business partners, Friends, Peers etc. It is very important to understand the personalities of the people with whom you have to deal with so that you mould our own behaviour to suit their personalities. If you fail to do so, you will end up having lot of misunderstanding with them whether in career, social circle or at home resulting in breakups in relationship. Successful people are very good at understanding the human psychology. Human relationship is so complex that even if you stay with a person for years, you may not understand him or her completely. It is for this reason that I have come up with a psychological test which if conducted, it will be possible to know the nature of the person with reasonable degree of accuracy. The test is in the form of a story. It runs like this.

This story involves 4 people. Let me name them as “A”,”B”,”C,”D”. They are staying in houses which are built in 4 corners of an open field meant for playing football . “A”,”B” and “C” are boys and “D” is a girl. “A” is in love with “D”. He goes to meet her everyday. But the irony is that the only way to go to “D”’s house is through either “B” ‘s house or “C”’s house. He chooses to go through “B”’s house. B had no objection initially. But when he came to know that he goes to meet D, he objected to his going through his house. A then changed the route. He started going through C’s house. C does not mind it although he knows that A goes to meet D. This goes on for some time. Then D proposes A to marry her. A asks D to wait for some more time as he does not have enough money to support her. D does not wait for A and instead proposes C to marry her. C agrees to marry her although C knew D’s relationship with A.

The test is Rank the characters of 4 people in the story. Please note there is no right or wrong answer in this. This test will work only if you do not manipulate your answer.

Recipe

I keep reading my daughter shilpa’s blog. She is very fond of preparing new dishes and sharing the recipe with others in her blog. Well, I don’t know how to cook. I can at best make tea although my daughter refuses to admit that I am capable of making tea. All the credit as far as cooking is concerned goes to my wife. Since I don’t know how to cook, I am not the right person to give you any recipe on any dish. But nonetheless, I have prepared a different recipe for you, the recipe of love. You can try and relish the taste.

Ingredients: Honesty
Trust
Respect
Frankness
Sacrifice
Patience
Effection
Passion

Mix the ingredients in the right proportion and serve to others.

spiritual enlightenment

I am addicted to reading newspaper early morning. I take as much as 30-45 minutes in reading. I am not the type who make cursory glance on main news and finish reading in 5 to 10 minutes.This habit of mine leaves me very little time to finish my other daily chores with the result I generally get late in meeting people. My wife sometimes hides the newspaper so that I don't waste time in reading it which is the main cause of my embarassment. If for any reason, I can't finish reading it in the morning, I make sure that I read it in the evening. I always make it a point to read spiritual coloumn which appears on the same page in which editorial colomn comes. Last week, I came across an article written by a young Muslim boy who happened to be a student of Class X. I can't recall his name. Kids of this age are generally mischievious. They are more inclined towards sports, Music, Dance etc. They don't have the experience and maturity to understand spiritualism. But this boy was exceptional. His depth of understanding, clarity of thought was superb. Even his command over English language was amazing. The article was written with such finesse that I would not have known his age had it not been disclosed in fine prints at the end of article. The article was more a narration of his own spiritual feelings on a day to day basis rather than a spiritual discourse. I was truly delighted to read his article. He had such saintly thoughts at the tender age that I have no words to describe it. It was an unusual experience for me. I express my gratitude to Times of India for publishing his article and enlightening people like me.

Ego

Is ego the same as self respect. If not, what is the difference. Can you give me your own views please.

Brain Teaser

A milkman wants to give 4 litres of milk to his customer. He has forgotten to bring measuring pot. He is carrying three buckets of different sizes . Largest bucket can accommodate 8 litres of milk, Medium sized bucket can accommodate 5 litres of milk and smallest sized bucket can accommodate 3 litres of milk. His largest bucket is full of milk while other two buckets are empty. He is not allowed to do any marking in any of the buckets. He is however, allowed to pour milk from one bucket to the other. How can he ensure that only 4 litres of milk are given to the customer. I will give correct answer by saturday, 4th July,09.

Michael Jackson

The news of Michael Jackson’s death at a young age has come as a rude shock to me. He was undisputed king of pop music. I rate him as the greatest pop star of this century. With his death, a void is created in music world which will probably never be filled up. May his soul rest in peace.

An unpleasant memory

I don’t like to travel. I am very happy that I have curtailed it to a large extent now a days. Unfortunately, in my heydays, I had to travel extensively on consulting assignments. I had couple of my clients in UAE and so naturally, I had to make at least one visit in a month to UAE to monitor ongoing projects. My client used to bear the cost of my travel and boarding and lodging. Local office of my client used to book the ticket for me. I had the privilege of flying by Emirates flights almost on all occasions. The inflight service of this airline is without doubt excellent. I have no complaint whatsoever. I had the opportunity to go by Air India once on the occasion of my last visit to UAE. I was very happy that I was at last going by national airlines. There is a feeling of national pride in going by our own airlines. Although I do criticize the Indian system occasionally in my blog, but that does not mean I am less patriotic. I love my country as much as anybody else. I only share my views and it is for the betterment of the system. A child loves his mother very much irrespective of whether she is beautiful or not. My visit visa in UAE used to be deposited in the airport by my client half an hour before arrival of the flight. As usual, on the day of my departure, I informed my client of my flight details and proceeded to the airports 3 hours before the scheduled time of departure. I was holding a suitcase and a handbag carrying my laptop. There was a big queue in front of the booking counter. I stood in the queue and was waiting for my turn to get boarding pass. After about 30 minutes, an announcement was made that the flight has become full and Air India regrets inconvenience caused to the passengers who were unable to board the Aircraft. The counter was then closed. I was holding confirmed ticket in my hands and wondering how it is possible. They were willing to give me hotel accommodation which I refused. I came back home very disturbed. I was very angry with the Airlines Ground staff. Out of frustration, I wrote a letter to the editor of Times of India detailing the incident and demanding compensation from Air India for loss to my business on account of irresponsible behaviour on the part of Airlines management. I phoned up my client at Dubai and apologized to him for what happened and informed him of my next visit. I went to Dubai after about a weeks time.Thereafter, I literally forgot about this incidence. When I came back to India after 3 weeks, I was told by one of my colleagues that my letter had appeared in Times of India. As I had expected, I did not get any monetary compensation , but I got a letter of apology from the airlines.

Corruption

India ranks 83rd in the list of 100 most corrupt countries in the world. It is shameful for every Indian. Corruption is rampant all over. There is not a single institution which is free from corruption. Police, Judiciary, Ministry, Corporates, Schools, Media are all corrupt. Even criminal investigating agencies are corrupt. Money and muscle power rules over everything. Common public has meekly surrendered to the corrupt system prevailing in the country. If you have money power, you can get away with any crime be it financial fraud, murder, rape etc. Two thirds of ministers have criminal records in our country. Strong nexus exists between ministers, Corporates, Builders and Criminals. All have their representatives in the parliament. Do you expect them to pass any bill in Lok Sabha which is in the interest of common man. Recently, MHADA in Mumbai allotted plots to common public based on the lottery system. According to the report published in Times of India, around 6 lakh people applied for allotment of 3,500 Mhada flats. The deposit money along with application ranged from Rs 15,000 to Rs 1 Lakh depending on the size and location of flats.. Considering the number of applicants which is reported to be around 6 lakhs, MHADA must have collected more than 250 crores by way of deposit from public. Application forms were collected 3 months before the lottery draw. Assuming simple interest of 8% per annum, MHADA must have made at least Rs 6 crores by way of interest from deposit money of public in just 3 months. There was very slim chance of getting allotment considering number of applicants and available flats. On top of that, quotas were fixed for scheduled castes and Tribes. When the results were finally announced in May, while most of them did not get any allotment including those who submitted multiple applications, there were some people who got allotment of more than one flats. What was most disturbing is that, their application numbers were found to be consecutive. I understand, a third party computer software was used to generate random numbers which were matched with the application serial Nos of applicants. If the software were genuine, there is not even one in million chance that the same person with consecutive serial no will get more than one allotment. It seems, some manipulation has been done in the software to match the random numbers with the application nos of the applicants who seem to have bribed Mhada officials. This scam may never be exposed because very powerful people are involved in it. Even if it is exposed, who will investigate the matter. Even investigating agencies are corrupt. This whole Drama of lottery system is enacted time and again to fool around the public. This is not the first time that a housing development Authority has used unfair means to allot flats to public. Barely 3 months ago, Delhi Housing Board was also accused of manipulating allotment. An enquiry committee was instituted then to investigate the matter. What happened thereafter, who were the officials involved in the scam, what disciplinary action was taken against them, nobody knows. As long as the common public will remain mute spectator to all this, nothing is going to change. We will witness more and more scams like this in the coming days. Corruption is the root cause of all the evils in the Indian society. Corruption is breeding unchecked and by now has spread at each level of government machinery right from the level of Havaldar up to the highest level . If you have to deal with government officials, you will understand the gravity of situation. You wont be given any appointments with govt officials without you giving bribes, leave alone getting the job done. Big corporates, Builders, Dons have hand in glove with ministers. They have the tacit understanding that during election time, they will bear all the expenses of the minister and if the minister is voted to power, he will use his good offices to award them government contracts and other business deals in return . Goverments come and go, ministers change, government officials change but what remains is the corruption.

Are you listening

(Contents of this page look like quotes but they are not quotes. They are originally written for you)
Nature is trying to tell you something. Are you listening. Peaks of mountains tell you keep your self esteem high. Don’t downgrade yourself. Flowing river is telling you flow with the time. Don’t stand still. You will be left behind. Little birds flutter their wings with joy and tell you, live in the present. Celebrate every moment. Don’t worry about the future. God is there to take care of you. Clouds in the sky tell you, dance with joy and thank God that he has given you this beautiful life. Rays of the rising sun tell you, do not discriminate for all are equal in the eyes of God. Branches of trees laden with fruits tell you, be humble. Learn to give. You will receive only if you give. If you don’t give, you will lose whatever you have. Sweet fragrance of flower tells you, spread the message of peace and harmony around you. Harvest in the field tells you, sow the seed and wait for the harvest. Don’t hurry up for you don’t get anything before time. You reap what you sow. Little ants tell you, get organized and work in unison, you will not fail no matter how difficult the task is. Rising waves of the sea tell you, keep your ambition high and make efforts to achieve it. Treasure of knowledge is hidden in nature. Child learns much faster than a grown up man or woman because the child is listening to the nature all the time. What about you. Are you listening.

An experience

I have learnt few lessons while managing business of my client in the last 15 days which I would like to share with you. Businessmen in India are facing multitude of problems in managing business. Inventory control, production planning, MRP etc which you typically learn in any Business school does not work in a highly unpredictable environment. I am not supposed to disclose the real business problems of my client to you but I can take a hypothetical case to explain how difficult it is to manage business. Imagine a scenario wherein you have made commitment to your customers of delivering the products in a given time frame based on certain inputs like available machine capacity and labour and material. What happens if 25% labour suddenly fails to turn up in the shopfloor or the material you received from supplier is rejected due to quality problems and the supplier does not have enough stock to replace it immediately, your production plan goes haywire and you will fail to deliver the goods as promised. Mind you, in this particular case, you have enough machine capacity. In fact, machines are lying idle in the plant but you are unable to produce because of non availability of labour. What is the implication in business if you fail to deliver in time. Customer may cancel the order in which case you end up carrying dead stock because the product you manufactured is make to order and cannot be sold to any other customer. More than the material cost, labour cost etc that you have incurred, you lose goodwill in the market which is going to impact your business in future. Your cash flow gets effected, your sales turnover goes down. Uncertainties cannot be factored in planning. If there is a definite pattern of absenteism, it can be factored in capacity plan but if the pattern is erratic, it is very difficult to factor it in planning. Same is the case with material. If one particular lot is rejected at the last moment and there is no other source of supply, you have no option but to wait for replacement. It will impact your production plan and ultimately the delivery commitment. I have taken only two examples to prove a point how difficult it is to honour the commitment in a highly unpredictable business environment but in real life situation, there are plenty of uncertainties which throw the best plan out of gear resulting in chaos and confusion. Timely delivery and high quality of products is the essence of staying ahead in today’s highly competitive Business environment. The challenge is to brainstorm and find some solution to cope up with uncertainties and come out winners. Based upon my experience, I have prepared a report highlighting business issues and suggesting feasible solutions. This report has been submitted to the client upon his return from foreign tour. What course of action my client takes on my recommendation, only the time will tell.

Money

We put up lot of hard work during our prime time sometimes even at the cost of our personal and social commitments so that by the time we retire, we are able to save enough money so that we can live peacefully for the rest of our life . But unfortunately, by the time we retire, we are afflicted with all sorts of ailments, and we end up spending all our savings trying to restore our health. We are back to square one. We repent for not being able to devote enough time to our spouse, children and our close friends. We don’t realize that we have to pay the price for earning money. The price we pay could be far more than the value of money we earn in exchange. Many of us have this misconception that money gives happiness. Money cannot give happiness. It can give physical comforts only. A rich person may be afflicted with several diseases like diabetes, cancer, Hypertension etc. Can a sick person be happy with millions of rupees stacked in bank account. Money is important to satisfy our basic needs like food,shelter clothing etc only. We should put up efforts to be able to earn enough money so that we can live comfortably and we are able to satisfy our basic needs. Earning more and more money is a greed and can never be satisfied. Some people want to earn more money than is necessary because they want to lead a luxurious life. Leading a life of luxury is somewhat like taking drugs. The body gets addicted to physical comfort and then it is very difficult for the person to give up luxury and lead a normal life. Too much physical comfort makes the body sick and prone to desease. Some earn more money so they can attain high status and power in the society. Some people are crazy of power because through misuse of power and position, they can earn money. There are some people who are so much obsessed with money that they can do anything for the sake of it. They can cheat, steal, rob, indulge in fraudulent activities which are harmful to the society. Money is the root cause of all the problems today. Divisions are created in families over property disputes. Public Limited Companies go into liquidation over financial irregularities. Underworld dons use threats and other means to extort money from builders, Cine stars, film distributors and financiers etc. Happiness is the state of mind and has nothing to do with money. A poor man who is barely able to make both ends meet can be far more happy than a rich man who has amassed wealth of crores of rupees. A beggar is not scared of death because he has nothing to lose but a rich man is scared of death because he does not want to lose his possessions.

Power of Visualisation

Process of visualisation is mentally picturing yourself to be in a situation you want to be and enjoying the fruits of it in advance. One school of thought says that this process is so powerful that when you are visualising, you are emitting powerful frequency out into the universe. The law of attraction will pick up that powerful signal and return those pictures back to you just as you saw them in your mind. It is revolutionary concept. How far this is true, I cannot precisely tell you but one thing is for sure that visualisation makes you more committed to achieve your objective.

Funny Incidence

This is my own photograph. It was taken in the studio about 15 years ago for my driving License. Whenever I see this photograph, I am reminded of a very funny incident.

My friends in those days used to tease me that I look much younger than my age.
They told me I had no wrinkles on my face. If I dye my hair, I will look so young that girls will run after me. I was somehow convinced that what they are saying is right. I said Why not take a chance. I went to the nearby beauty Parlour and got my hair and moustache dyed with black color.I looked at the mirror and could not recognise myself. I was looking so young and energetic. I was reminded of my college days.I went home very excited. I rang the bell. My elder daughter "Shilpa" opened the main door. When she looked at me, she was stunned. She said "Who the hell are you. You can't be the husband of my mother. You are not permitted to come inside. You go back and dye your hair with white color and then only you will be allowed to come inside. After lot of persuation and giving her written promise that I shall never dye my hair again ,did she let me come inside. Incidentally, she is in London now a days and doing her post graduate studies. I am missing her a lot. Well friends, I paid the price for trying to look young.

New Assignment

I have developed expertise in my own field in view of my long career and I somehow no longer get any kick out of it. Today, my client has assigned me a new task which I have never done earlier in my life. He somehow feels that I think out of the box and may bring about radical change in his business. He is going abroad tommorrow and has asked me take complete charge of his business for 15 days in his absence. It is a very big challenge for me as I am working as a consultant for him since last 6 months and my exposure to his business is very limited. Since he has reposed confidence in me, I will have to live up to his expectation. I am as excited as a 25 year old guy to take up this new challenge. This is a lifetime opportunity for me to prove my worth as a business strategist and planner. May God give me the strength and courage to take up this new challenge. I need your blessings too.

Indian News channels

Television is a very powerful media. It can easily impact and influence the minds of ordinary citizen. My own assessment of the quality of programs churned out by most of our channels is that all of them without exception are pathetically very poor in terms of quality of contents. There are approx 50-60 Indian channels in all languages. These channels can be categorized into 5 or 6 broad based categories. New channels, Reality shows channels, soap opera channels, Sports channels, Music channels, Movie channels etc. Since I see mainly news channels, I will focus my obervation on news channels only. Quality of new channels is determined by the coverage of news and reliability of the news contents. If you observe new channels minutely, you will be shocked to learn that almost 90-95% of contents is focused on domestic news and only a small fraction of total newstime is dedicated to foreign news. If you concentrate on domestic news only, you will find that out of 90-95% contents, almost 50-60% is reserved for Cricket and Bollywood both of which are unfortunately spreading like cancer in Indian society. During election time, of course the election news takes precedence over Cricket and Bollywood. What the news channels show day after day is in a nutshell insignificant news such as malfunction of the wardrobe of half clad models during Ramp shows, Private lives of actors and their affairs, Talk show on why Shah Rukh Khan is Number one actor in Bollywood, Latest Hindi Film Releases with clippings of songs, expert comments on topic such as “Will India emerge as world number one in ICC Cricket Ranking”. If Indian public is so much obsessed with Bollywood and Cricket, let there be a seperate channel dedicated for these two. Even the hard core news shown on news channel is biased, one sided, inaccurate and at best be termed as an opinion and not news. The news is so unreliable that two channels giving the same news give contradictory statements. They have stooped to such low level that they go to the extent of fabricating stories such as “Terror threats from Taliban” with graphic details of their training camps across the border so as to create sensationalisation and increase their TRP ratings . During 26/11 Terror attack, when the terrorists from across the border created mayhem in Taj, Trident, Oberoi Hotels in Mumbai and were busy firing indiscriminately and killing hostages who were holed up inside, all our Television crews were busy outside the hotels giving live telecast of this tragic incident non stop with commentaries to public and in the process were giving valuable clue to the perpetrators of this crime as to what our plans and strategies are to counter the attack. The commando operation could have been finished much earlier had there not been live Telecast. The Freedom of press in a democratic set up does not mean that you become so much insensitive and irresponsible that in a bid to increase your TRP, you don’t care about telecasting events that can jeopardise the security of the country. There is only one solution to curb this dangerous trend,impose censorship through a regulatory body. Self censorship works only in matured democracy where people understand their responsibilities. It won't work in our country. I suggest, a central agency like CRISIL should be formed and should be empowered to give ratings to Television channels based on the quality of software programming and contents. If a particular channel’s rating falls below the minimum rating fixed, it should be disqualified and banned from beaming the program. The common public glued to TV set is somehow reconciled with third grade programs. Has their taste downgraded to such an extent that they are unable to differentiate between the good and bad or is it simply callousness or apathy towards the quality of programs, I don't know.

Food for thought

He who does not know and does not know that he does not know is ignorant,keep him away
He who does not know and knows that he does not know is honest, Teach him
He who knows and does not know that he knows is sleeping, awake him
He who knows and knows that he knows is wise and intelligent, learn from him

Election Day

Today is the election Day in Mumbai. In the constituency where my name is registered, there is not a single candidate who is clean,honest. I am in a dilemma whether to vote or note to vote. If I vote, I will end up casting vote to somebody who is corrupt and inefficient and if I don't,I am not exercising my rights as a responsible citizen. I don't know what to do.

Unethical Business Practice of Microsoft

Microsoft Corp through its destructive marketing policy has been able to successfully wipe out competition from some of it's serious contenders. For example, Netscape navigator, a very good search engine and widely used in the last decade, was unfortunately not a freeware.

Microsoft as a counter move released Internet explorer and started giving it free along with Windows operating system. This strategy killed the market for Netscape although Netscape was a better search engine than Internet explorer.

Hotmail, of our own Sabeer Bhatia, was gaining popularity as freeware email and was posing a serious challenge to Microsoft. To overcome this, Microsoft purchased the rights of Hotmail. Sabeer Bhatia settled with millions of dollars from Microsoft and surrendered the rights of Hotmail to Microsoft.

Macintosh had an operating system, which was very user friendly, but due to non-aggressive marketing policy of the company, the product was somehow not popular. Microsoft seized this opportunity, developed it's own brand of operating system WIN-95 based entirely on Macintosh operating system and successfully marketed it across the globe.

Lotus 123 developed by Lotus Corp was extremely popular as electronic spreadsheet. Microsoft developed MS-Excel in a new avatar and killed Lotus 123 in the process. Microsoft has systematically killed all competitors over a period of time and is currently ruling the international market.

Finding itself unchallenged in the market, Microsoft is dictating the price of it's products. Since there is virtually no competition, individuals and companies have no other option but to pay very high price as licensing cost for using Microsoft products.

High cost of licensing is encouraging piracy in a country like India, China where the income level of the people in general is not high. Linux, of late has emerged as a serious contender of Microsoft. It is a freeware open source software and extremely versatile. Total cost of ownership of Linux OS and star office suite of products is much lower than Microsoft.

Besides the cost, Linux is far superior to Windows-OS in terms of speed and ease of use and requires less hardware resources. The transition from Microsoft to Linux will reduce operating cost and give more value proposition. The savings arising out of switching over from windows to Linux will far outweigh the cost of migration and any potential downtime

Unfortunately, we are still sticking to Microsoft products, not willing to take any risk to migrate to Linux. Our biggest fear is our lack of familiarity of Linux as an operating system. Migrating to linux is not a cakewalk either.

Some introspection is required as to how the linux is going to impact the existing hardwares (including all peripherals and components), networking protocols, application software, people etc.

Besides the compatibility issue, we have to address the training needs of different layers of IT people in the organization. For those with Unix background, the training required is bare minimum as Linux being an offshoot of Unix, it uses many of the same commands found in most of the offerings from the major Unix vendors.

Similarly for those with Windows background, training required is more as the Windows environment is very different from Linux. Server administrators in general will need more training than database administrators. Developers do not need as much training.

As far as end users are concerned, migration will have no impact whatsoever and therefore end users don't require any training. Cost of migration from windows to linux will mainly include cost of hardware upgrades, cost of software upgrades and cost of training.

The cost of migration should be weighed against the savings resulting out of use of linux over a period of time and ROI should be worked out to justify the investment.

Microsoft is releasing new versions of Windows–OS and MS-office suite of products almost every year and charging existing users exorbitant as upgradation cost. New releases of Microsoft products are resource hungry. There was a time when we thought 16MB RAM is good enough memory to store Win-OS but after release of win- 98 and now Win- 2003, our perception has changed.

Today, we find that even 32MB RAM is insufficient to run windows 2003. With every new release of Windows operating system and MS-Office suite of products, we are forced to upgrade our hardwares again and again resulting in more and more investment. Is there any nexus between Microsoft,IBM or Compaq as all stand to gain in this game?

In a monopolistic situation like this, exploitation of the customer is bound to happen which is amply demonstrated by Microsoft.

Fear of failure

There is one school of thought which says “Forget the past. Concentrate on your present which is going to shape up your future”. I slightly differ from this viewpoint. I will correct this statement by saying” Learn from your past, Correct your present which is going to determine your future. You can learn from not only your own mistakes but mistakes made by others and not repeat those mistakes in the present which may impact your future. History is replete with stories of what people have done in the past and what went wrong and what was the repercussion of those mistakes. Everybody is interested in knowing the success story. There is nothing wrong in it. But knowing the story of failures is equally important. Let me tell you that behind every successful man, there are many who have failed. Do we know who they are and why they failed. If we succeed in the very first attempt, we don’t learn anything. We learn only when we face obstacles, Hindrances, failures. There is no shame in admitting failures. There is not a single person who has not made any mistake in life. What is important here is that rather than being in comfort zone, we should try to do something different and if we fail, we should try and understand why we failed, what went wrong, analyse the failure, correct the mistakes and try once again rather than losing focus,interest and abandon it altogether for fear of failure. Many of the great scientific discoveries have been made in the past after repeated unsuccessful attempts. One should have perseverance, patience, self belief. There is a dangerous trend emerging among youth now a days. Trying to get instant success. They don’t want to put up hard work. They have no patience. If you sow the seed now, wait for the harvest. You can’t become famous, rich,successful overnight. There is no magic formula. If you want fame, success in any field say for example sports, music, dance etc, you will have to put up lots of hard work for many many years. Abhinav Bindra is a classic case . Nobody knew him before he got Gold medal for India in Olympics. He was a non entity to all of us. He practiced shooting at home for 10 hrs per day for years despite the fact that, he did not get any financial or logistic support from sports ministry. Success did not come to him overnight. He put up lot of hard work and did not lose focus despite hindrances, obstacles, setbacks in his journey towards Olympics Gold Medal. This was possible because he had set for himself a tangible goal and he was able to sustain his motivation level for so long despite all odds. If we get everything without any struggle, there is no fun, no excitement, no challenge in life. A pregnant woman has to wait for 9 months and then go through labour pain before delivering the baby. There is no shortcut to it. This is the law of nature.

Can we see our past

Can we see the past. Yes, we can. When we look at the star which is say 5000 light years away from earth, we are in fact seeing the light that left the star 5000 years ago and not the current light of the star because the light has taken 5000 years to reach us. The star may have been dead by now and may no longer exist in the constellation. We are in fact looking at the past. Assuming, we are travelling in space faster than light and we are carrying an extremely powerful telecope through which we can see the objects on earth while in space, we will be able to see events taking place on earth in reverse gear with the result we will start looking at events which took place in the past. As we move away from earth more and more into space, the deeper we go into the past. But whether we can move faster than light, the science does not have any definite answer till date.

Try to read body language

When you meet a person of same sex or opposite sex for business alliance or matrimonial alliance, you need to understand the person you are meeting thoroughly so as to avoid disappointments or frustrations at a later date. Generally, during such meetings, the person you meet tries to project himself as the best person available. His true self does not get revealed. That is when reading the body language comes to your rescue. Rather than what he says, the body language tells you what he has in mind. The tone, the eye contact, body posture, Gesture, facial expression etc say something to you. If the body language is not in synch with what the person speaks, the person is hiding facts. You are not conscious of your body language while you are talking. It comes naturally to you as a reflex action. It is easy to manipulate what you say, but it is very difficult to manipulate your body language which is the true reflection of your intentions. Let us see how to read body language.

1> Hands-- When you meet and shake hands with the other person, just notice how he is holding your hands.If it is too tight and gripping, it means he is of dominating nature. If the other person holds your fingers instead of full hand, it means he lacks self confidence. If the person is holding your hand for a longer period than is necessary, he or she is physically attracted to you. If the hand is cold and loose, it means that the person lacks commitment and self determination
2> Eye Contact--- If the person to whom you are talking does not look straight into your eyes and constantly glances sideways, it means he is not interested in your conversation. If the person flickers or blinks his eyes too frequently while talking, it means he is nervous. If he makes short eye contacts in between, it means either he is shy natured or he is lying.
3> Posture--- Posture tells a great deal about the person. If he is sitting upright with shoulders slightly leaning backwards, it means he is interested in conversion. If the person is sitting cross legged during conversation, it means he is defensive and over protective.
4> Facial Expression—Face is the mirror of the internal feelings of a person. If the face is glowing, it means he is free from anxieties. If the face is grim, it means he is tired, worried or sick
5> Movement of Hand—While the person is speaking, look at his hands. If his hands are outstretched, it means he is accommodative and confident. If he holds his hands tightly to his chest, it means he lacks self confidence The pace at which he speaks also gives an indication of his personality. If he speaks too fast or speaks in high pitched tone, he lacks maturity.

If you are interviewing a person for a job,it is very important for you to know whether the person you are interviewing is genuine or not. Look at the body language after you ask him a particular question. He will be lying if

1>He changes position of his arms or legs before answering
2>His voice pitch suddenly changes
3>He starts speaking faster
4>He fumbles or clears his throat
5>He starts using fillers such as “Um”, “Uh”, "I mean" etc
6>He reacts with hostility or indignation

The art of reading body language can be cultivated which will prove to be of immense benefits to you.

What are your views.

superstition

Superstition in Indian society has become deep rooted. The list of superstitious belief is endless. Superstition emanates from blind faith. It has no logical or rational base. A black cat crossing our path while we are going out is considered an inauspicious sign and can bring bad luck. Similarly, sneezing is also considered unfavourable. If we see deadbody going in the opposite direction, it is considered a good sign but if it is going in the same direction, it is considered a bad sign. A pregnant woman should not go out during eclipse else it will have bad effect on foetus growing in the womb. The list is endless. The superstition is so deeply ingrained in our belief system that it is difficult to root out completely. Even the educated Indians fall victim to superstition. Astrology, Numerology,Palmistry and Tarot reading etc encourage superstition. The so called experts in these areas are minting money fooling around people all over India. They can be seen in almost all our T.V Channels in the morning session giving expert advice to the public. Belief in Astrology is reinforced if astrological prediction comes true by any chance. I know nothing about Palmistry. I once pretended to read the hands of my ex colleague and predicted that he is going to leave his job within 6 months. My prediction somehow turned out to be true. He, indeed left the job within 6 months. It was just pure coincidence. Now, he is so much convinced about my ability to predict accurately that he keeps calling me on phone to seek my advice on many important issues. People, who are emotionally weak fall prey to superstition. I have seen many sick ( both mentally and physically) people going to Tantriks, Religious gurus and do most absurd thing under the guidance of these Thugs to ward off evil spirit from the body. According to the recent news report, a father raped his own daughter under the guidance of Tantrik to bring back prosperity in family. Superstition is prevalent not only in India but in advanced countries as well. Number 13 is considered unlucky by most of Westerners. When Apollo 13 moon mission failed, many believed it was due to unlucky number 13. 13th floor is kept empty in many high rise buildings due to the stigma attached to number 13. Vaastu Shastra is gaining popularity now a days which does not have any scientific base. Superstition is a social evil. Superstition is most prevalent among people who are uneducated. The government should never allow programs on television which encourage superstition. Those spreading superstition for their own personal gain should be punished.

Space exploration

Us has recently launched a satellite in space to explore whether life exists in universe. This satellite will go beyond our solar system and will explore whether earth like planet exists elsewhere. Space exploration is a very expensive affair. Billions of dollare have been earmarked for this project. I don't understand what purpose it is going to serve. Is it going to help the mankind in any way. Even if it is proven that earthlike planets exist elswhere and oxygen and water in liquid form exists in such planets which is essential to support life, is it possible to make any physical contact considering the fact that even the nearest star from planet earth is 1 light year away. Light year is the measure of distance in terms of time taken by light to reach earth. Considering the speed of light which is roughly 2,99,792 Km per second, the distance of nearest star in space is trillions and trillions of km. It is impossible for any human being to travel such a great distance in his lifetime. There are billions of stars in a gallaxy and like wise there are billions of galaxies in the universe. The number of planets circling stars are unimaginable. Even if one in trillion planets circling stars is earthlike which is quite possible, there will be thousands of life sipporting planets in the universe. It looks ridiculous to spend so much money and time in space exploration for existence of life other than earth . There is so much poverty and hunger on this planet earth that money spent on such wasteful projects can be termed as against humanity.

Bridegroom

Bridegrooms are now a days sold for a price. Higher the qualification, more the price. There is a price tag for doctors, engineers,MBAs,CA's etc. Everything is saleable now a days. If cricketers are saleable, government officials are saleable, ministers are saleable, why can't bridegrooms be saleable.I was on the lookout for a suitable bridegroom for my daughter. One day, as I was browsing through the matrimonial coloumn of The Times of India while sipping morning tea at home, I came across a very interesting advertisement with caption "Bridegrooms are sold here." I noted down the address of the shop written below and decided to visit the shop on my way back from office. After finishing my work in office, as I was returning home in the evening, I visited the shop which happened to be on the way. I had unusual experience that day. As I reached the shop, I could see there was a big rush in the shop. Young ladies and gentlemen were busy selecting the choicest bridegroom and bargaining with the salesmen for the best deal. I was watching the whole scene from a distant corner. As the crowd receded after sometime, I approached the salesman . I asked him softly. "Do you have a suitable bride for my daughter". The saleman looked at me from head to foot as if trying to assess my worth. He then said. "Sir, what is your budget". I kept quiet, Without waiting for an answer, he picked up the photograph of the best piece available and said. Sir, this guy is a chartered accountant, works in a multinational, has been abroad several times, is flent in English, draws fat salary, very cunning and manipulative, highly Ambitious, believes in success at all costs. Price tag is 30 lacs. This is the only good piece available to day. All others are sold out. I remained silent. The salesman thought probably it was too expensive for me. He then picked up another piece and said. Never mind. I will show you another one. Look at this one sir, this one will fit your budget. This guy is a stage actor, he is flambuoyant, very stylish, smart, capable of fooling anybody, can mimic any bollywood actor on stage. Price is only 15 Lacs. I will give you a dicount of 5%. I was still unmoved. This time, salesman was little puzzled. But he did not lose heart. He was convinced, my budget was bare minimum. As is the practice, good salesmen do not let customers go empty handed, he finally came up with a piece and said. Sir, You simply can't reject this piece. It is dirt cheap and costs virtually nothing. This guy is very simple, Honest,straight forward, never tells lies, does not smoke, does not drink, keeps himself miles away from clubs, casinos etc, sticks to his principles, is very spiritual and is a class teacher in a school and earns a modest salary. It is a rejected piece,sir. I can give you at throughaway price. With tears in my eyes, I said, thank you for showing me this one. He may be dirt cheap in your eyes, but to me, he is invaluable. This guy is the only one suitable for my daughter.

Appointment

I had fixed an appointment with a senior executive of an MNC for the presentation of my product. The appointment was given to me at 11.00 AM. It was a one hour drive for me from home so I started at 9.45 am keeping 15 minutes in hand for delay on account of traffic. But on that particular day, the traffic was unusually very bad. And while I was midway, I realized I will be late by ½ an hour. I , therefore telephoned the person whom I was to meet and informed him that I am stuck in traffic jam and I will be late by ½ an hour if it is ok with him. He readily agreed to it. I ultimately reached the place at 11.45 am. I gave my visiting card to the receptionist and told her to give it to the concerned person. I was carrying the laptop with me. The office was very nice and comfortable. I was offered a cup of tea. I waited for ½ an hour and then I told the receptionist to remind the person concerned that I am still waiting for him. After some time, she told me that he is busy with somebody. You just have to wait for another 10 minutes, he will call you. I kept waiting. Another half an hour passed. It was 1 PM now. I turned to the receptionist and told her to remind him once again. She replied. “It is lunch time. He is taking lunch now. You will have to wait till 2pm.” I had no option but to wait. The receptionist also left for lunch after some time. I was all alone in the reception.. The lunch time was over at 1.30pm. I kept waiting till 2.30pm after which I got restless. I asked the receptionist to remind him once again. She checked up with him and said he is still busy. As soon as he is free he will call you. I waited till 3.30 pm. I lost the patience by now and finally told the receptionist that I am leaving for good. I cannot wait any longer. She requested me to wait for another 5 minutes. She finally went to his room and I don’t know what she told him, she came back within a minute and asked me to directly proceed to his room. She pointed her finger to the room where he was sitting. When I finally entered his room, I found him engrossed in discussion with somebody else. I felt humiliated. When he saw me standing at the door, he abruptly ended his discussion with the other gentleman and asked me to take a seat. I expected him to apologise to me for making me sit for hours in the reception. But he did not do so. On the contrary, he said”You know, I am very busy. My boss keeps calling me in between.” You can’t say no to your boss. I lost my temper. This man was not even half my age and had no courtesy to even treat an elderly person like me. I simply told him” Young man, you had no business to make me sit for hours. If you had no time, you could have told me frankly. My time is as precious as yours. I had fixed another appointment at 4.30pm which I am going to miss because of your irresponsible behaviour. I left the place immediately without giving any presentation

Am I exaggerating

If you are honest,straightforward, law abiding citizen, nobody will take notice of you. You will not be in news. Media will be running miles away from you. You stand no chance to fight election. You have neither the money nor the muscle power to attract votes. You commit a fraud, cheat, murder, rape and you come in the limelight. Your photograph with complete background along with the juicy story is flashed in the frontpage of leading dailies. You gain instant popularity. You will be sorrounded by photographers each one struggling to take your snap. You will be in the news for days together in T.V Channels. The TRP of these channels will shoot up. If you are convicted by court of law for your offence and sent to jail, all the better, you become a hero. You become the ideal candidate to enter into politics. Mahesh Bhat will make a film on your lifestyle and you become a role model of our youngsters. Girls will find you macho,daring,courageous,sexy,very interesting character. They will be vying with each other to date you. Political parties will use you as their trump card to garner more votes during election.

When I was Taken for a ride

I had the opportunity to go to Delhi by train en route to Parwanoo, which is a hill station in Himachal Pradesh. As I came out of the old Delhi station, I found it was drizzling. I waited for some time to hire a taxi but somehow all taxis on road were engaged. After some time, a Tanga( Horse Drawn Vehicle) passed by me. Tangawalla (The driver)stopped Tanga, looked at me and asked gently" Babuji Kidhar Jana Hai". I said "Chandni chowk chaloge". Tangawalla replied "Hanji, Chaliye". I got inside the buggy with my small suitcase which I was carrying with me". I was drenched completely in rain by then. I heaved a sigh of relief and thanked God for helping me get vehicle in time. I took out the handkerchief from my pocket and started wiping my hands and face with it. I looked outside the window. It was now pouring heavily. Tangawalla told me "Babuji, Khidki Band Karlijiye, Bahut Jor ki Barish Hai". I closed the window on both sides. I could not see anything outside but I could feel, Tanga was moving constantly. After about half an hour or so, Tanga stopped. Tangawalla shouted. "Babuji, Chandni chowk Aa Gaya". I opened the window. The rains had stopped. I stepped out of Tanga and asked the guy "Kitna Hua". Tangawalla replied "Babuji, 150 Rupees. I paid the money without any hesitation. I mentally calculated how many kilometers Tanga must have covered in half an hour and was fairly convinced that what the guy is asking for is very reasonable. I wanted to catch the train at 6 in the evening to go to Parwanoo. So I had very little time left to do shopping. I finished my shopping in just half an hour. I still had 1 hour to go to reach Delhi station. I stopped a taxi and asked the driver to take me to Delhi station. The driver stared at me and said. "Babuji, apko nahin pata kya station to bagal mein hai. Aap paidal ja sakte ho" (Sir, don't you know, station is just few yards away. You can go walking.)

My Lord

O,Lord, your haunting memory makes me spend sleepless nights.
You have created sun,moon,stars and this whole universe.
It is due to your grace that this planet earth exists.
Little birds flutter their wings in joy and sing in your name
The clouds dance to your tune and bring rains
The rivers flow continuously since ages to mingle with you
You are so great that peaks of mountains bow down in front of you
The rising waves of sea are for ever excited to touch your feet
The flowers in the garden bloom just to get a glimpse of you
Lord, I feel your presence
in the courtyard
in the garden
in the waterfall of fountain
in the eyes of an innocent child
in my heart
in my eyes
in every breath and flesh of mine
whenever I felt helpless,defeated,vulnerable
you only lifted me up
You are merciful,Kind,compassionate,ever ready to help
I bow down and worship you with all my heart and soul

Love and Respect

It pains me a lot whenever I read in newspapers that so and so student has misbehaved with the teacher. I do not blame the students entirely for what they do, the teachers are equally to be blamed for failing to inculcate right moral values among the youth. In my time, there was a deep bonding between the teacher and student. I and my class friends had tremendous respect for our teachers. Likewise, our teachers had profound love for us. They used to treat us like their own children. I remember, when I along with 3 other students who were from higher class were selected to undergo advanced course (Visharad) in Sanskrit language in my school, I was very excited. Our Sanskrit teacher who was a renowned Sanskrit scholar agreed to give us private tuitions free of cost. We used to go to his house in the evenings to take private lessons from him. I recollect very clearly, he used to sit on a raised platform, and we used to sit around him on the ground in a typical Gurukul style. Before he would start giving us lessons, we used to touch his feet and get blessings from him. He would then order his family members to bring food for us after which he used to close the door and start giving us lessons. During the session, nobody from his family was allowed to enter the room. There was no fixed timing for ending the coaching session. He used to start at 8 pm and sometimes he used to get so much engrossed in teaching that session would go past midnight. Let me share with you that Sanskrit language like French is far more difficult than English. We had to struggle a lot to understand the basic concepts. There is lot of grammatical rules one has to follow. Once, he gave us some Sanskrit words and told us to make sentences out of these words. I tried very hard to make sentence out of a particular word “Pravishanti” but failed. Finally, I used a sentence which was actually a famous quote in Sanskrit. It was “Na hi suptasya shinghasya pravishanti mukhe Mriga” which means that Deer don’t enter the mouth of sleeping Tiger on their own. When I narrated this sentence to him, he was very furious. He told me that I betrayed him by copying the sentence from the textbook. In a fit of rage, he threw me out of the room. I was deeply hurt. I then stopped going to him. He was upset that I was not attending his class. He then sent his own family member to call me up. When I met him , I felt very guilty for what I did. I apologized to him for my action. He put his hand on my head and said. “My dear child, whatever, I did was for your own good”. What you did was absolutely wrong.

Parliamentary elections

Corruption is deep rooted in politics. Trying to find an honest leader in today's politics is like searching a needle in heystack. Today's politics is the politics of personal gains and not the politics of national interest. Our netas have no ideologies and principles. They change parties like how prostitutes change clients. Most of the politicians have criminal records. Some of the politicians are so shameless that even if are removed from chairs, they refuse to vacate govt quarters and Bunglows and keep on staying in them at the expense of Taxpayers money. With such people at the helm of affairs, it is difficult to think of a better tommorrow. Under the circumstances, our election process needs to be revamped totally. To start with, funds required to fight election must be raised through collection from honest taxpayers money and not through donations from Business house or corporates or Builders who have vested interest in politics. Second, there should be some criteria to be eligible to fight election such as minimum qualification, past record as to the contribution made by the person in serving the community, declaration of all assets owned by the person to ensure that assets are not disproportionate to the income of the person, whether the person has been convicted for any offence in the past etc. There must be maximum age limit to bar the entry of old and sick people who are sticking to politics till the very end. The average age of our politicians is 70 years plus. We need young people with fresh ideas and not oldies who can barely stand on their own feet.

In a democracy, the power of ballot is much greater than the power of Bullet. We can pull down the corrupt and inefficient government through ballot box only. Every individual who is eligible to vote should seize the opportunity during election and must cast his vote to the most deserving candidate without fail. If we do not exercise our rights during election, we should blame ourselves for the kind of politicians occupying chairs and ruling us. I would not be too harsh if I say

"politicians are like Diapers which need to be changed everytime for the same reason"

Auction of Mahatma's personal belongings

It is ironic that Mahatma Gandhi's personal belongings were possessed by a foreigner and he auctioned them in international market and received 1.8 million dollars as the price. Our government was a mute spectator unable to stop the auction. Fortunately, Vijay Mallya, the liquor Baron was instrumental in taking possession of these items by virtue of being the highest bidder. He has denied any role of the government in his action. It is shameful that Government is now taking credit for what Vijay Mallya did. I won't be surprised if the government imposes import duty on these items at the port of entry. The corrupt ministers and beaurocrates of congress party are miles away from Mahatma's ideals. He is reduced to a portrait hanging on the walls of most of government's offices.